It’s ok to set boundaries

Let’s start with something you don’t hear every day: It’s not only OK to say “no,” but it’s absolutely empowering. Did you know that women over 50 are leading the charge in personal reinvention, redefining what it means to age? From starting new businesses to exploring passions that were once put aside, we’re shaking things up—and that includes our boundaries!

A dear friend of mine told me about a woman who, at 55, was asked by her grown children to babysit every weekend. “You’re retired now, you’ve got time,” they said. She loved her grandchildren but also loved her newfound freedom more!. I do admire her though because  she did what most of us struggle with: she set a boundary. No babysitting unless it was pre-planned. Her kids were shocked! But you know what ….. they adapted to her choices. She got her weekends back, and her family learned that her time is just as precious as anyone of theirs.  Sound familiar? For many of us, the art of saying “no” can feel like a test of endurance. Whether it’s family, friends, or even work, we’ve often spent decades putting others first. The takeaway? Boundaries aren’t just a tool—they’re a power move!

Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Hard

Fact: women are conditioned to please. From a young age, we’re told to be kind, be available, and help others. And while there’s nothing wrong with kindness, it can sometimes turn into self-sacrifice if we’re not careful. By the time we hit 50+, many of us are ready to reclaim our lives—but where do we start? The simple answer is to stop feeling guilty about what you can’t do and celebrate what you choose to do. It’s about saying, “Yes, I can help—but only on my terms.” Or “Yes, I can see you—but not at the expense of my yoga class.” (Hey, we all need our Zen moments!)

What Do Boundaries Looks Like?

It could be as simple as not checking social media after 8 p.m. Or letting your boss know that weekends are strictly you time—no emails allowed. The key is clarity. People can’t respect your boundaries if they don’t know what they are. And for those of you thinking, “What if people don’t like it?”—here’s a little wisdom bomb for you: People who respect your boundaries are the ones who deserve to be in your life. Full stop.

 How to Maintain Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a Jerk)

You might set a boundary today, and by tomorrow, someone will test it. Don’t worry—that’s normal! The goal is consistency. Remind yourself (and others) that boundaries aren’t about being selfish—they’re about self-care. And guess what? The world won’t fall apart if you say “no.” In fact, you might just find that life feels a little lighter!  Remember, there’s no need to over-explain. If you don’t want to attend that event, just say, “Thank you, but I can’t make it.” No need to dive into all the reasons. Keep it simple and keep it moving.

Ladies, setting boundaries is not about building walls—it’s about opening doors to better opportunities, more peace, and a whole lot of personal growth. At 50+, we’re wiser, braver, and more unapologetic about what we want out of life. To quote the legendary Maya Angelou, “When you know better, you do better.” And what we know now is that boundaries are a form of love—for ourselves and for the people we care about.

So go ahead, say “no” when you need to. You’ve earned it. (And if anyone asks you why you’re not babysitting this weekend, just tell them, “I’ve got plans—with myself!”).

Caroline’s daughter, Diahanne x